Farewell Bangkok, Jet Lag, and Go Time

We got back from our trip to Bangkok yesterday (Easter Sunday) around 4:00 in the afternoon after about 30 hours of travel from the time we got picked up from our hotel. We managed to keep ourselves up until 8:00 to try to get adjusted as quickly as possible. Jet lag is no joke. I’ve been in a fog all day and absolutely exhausted. Kate and I managed to get a few things done, and I got through my work emails this morning. Our boys were mostly back to normal, which means they’re bouncing around the house while I’m in no state to actively parent, so that’s fun. 24 hour travel days are no joke, and our boys were absolute troopers and handled it beautifully. I’m really proud with how they managed. Miles slept for a large part of it. Henry also slept for a lot of it. I probably got a total of 5 hours of poor sleep. Kate got about the same.

As for the rest of our trip, on Thursday night, we went out to dinner in the city with several of Kate’s colleagues, which was great. It was a lot of fun chatting with them and gaining a lot of really valuable info. Kate will be working with a great group of people, and it looks like we will already have a good social life.

I didn’t get a chance to check out any of the music scene yet, but after doing some research, I’ve already discovered where some good music is happening. I can’t wait to jump in!

On Friday, I took the boys to a fun waterpark on the roof of another massive mall. Poor Miles was only tall enough to ride on only one of the large slides. He is only about an inch away from free reign. Once he’s tall enough, it’ll be a great place to take the boys for a cheap and fun day.

On Saturday, we got breakfast by the pool and then packed. A little later we went to the mall to let the boys play at the arcade and then did some shopping. We got back to the room, ordered dinner, and then went to the airport for our long journey home.

By the time we left, I was already feeling more comfortable being there and adjusting a bit. The language barrier is definitely going to be the biggest obstacle from what I can gather so far. I downloaded the Pimsleur Institute app for my phone, and will start spending time each day trying to at least gain a cursory knowledge of the language. For a bit of fortuitous timing, my cell phone just rolled out a major update that includes a lot of translation functions. The camera app has a built in translator for writing, which proved super helpful already. This will come in especially helpful at the day and night markets across the street from our apartment.

On the drive to the airport, as I was looking out the window of the car, I was astonished at just how big Bangkok is. It’s an absolutley enormous city. It took us almost an hour and a half to get from our hotel to the airport, and there were huge skyscrapers nearly the entire way there. NYC is big if you include all of the boroughs, but this seemed significantly larger. I was probably too tired when we arrived to notice on the car ride from the airport to the hotel, and similarly too occupied talking to other people or my kids when we went into the city during the week.

So now we’re back home, recovering from the long travel. We have about three months until we depart for our new lives on the other side of the world. I now have a clearer picture of what to expect. And with that, the pressure is on! We have probably two months to completely empty our house and get it rented. I wrap up my contract job at Malala Fund next Friday, and then it’s down to business. I’ll be selling as much of our stuff as I can, getting a storage unit for things we’re holding on to, and will donate or dispose of everything else. We’ve done a decent job over the last several months of beginning the purge, but looking around it feels like we’ve only scratched the surface. I have faith in us getting it done, though. Knowing I won’t be working and can completely dedicate my time to getting us packed is a comfort. I’ll be posting a lot of stuff up on Facebook Marketplace, so if anyone sees anything of interest, let me know!

Until next time, wish us luck!

Initial thoughts on Bangkok and Trip Recap

The trip is flying by. It’s been a challenge to explore Bangkok to the extent that I want as Kate has been working this week, and I’ve been watching the kids during the day.

On Sunday before her work week started, the family made a trip to the Grand Palace. Based on what I’ve read, this used to the be residence of the royal family from the late 18th century to around 1925. It’s a massive complex with a mix of business relate buildings and temples and shrines. It is an incredible place with fabulously intricately designed buildings ordained in gold and mosaics. Check the photos page for a few pictures I took. We were allowed into only one temple which didn’t allow photography. Inside was an absolutely beautiful buddha shrine. I would have enjoyed spending more time there, but it was oppressively hot and we were required to wear long pants inside the grounds.

On Monday, the boys and I took a tour of BASIS International School Bangkok, which is the school my wife will be working at and our boys will be attending. It’s like a miniature college campus! A truly phenomenal facility with world class teachers. We’re so excited our boys will be attending here for the next three years!

All of the classrooms are state-of-the-art. They have the most beautiful covered outdoor swimming pool, where all students are required to take swim lessons once a week. The indoor gymnasium is enormous with two full-sized basketball courts. There is a lovely covered playground, and a HUGE wide open sports field. To top things off, there is a Thai cultural center where all students take Thai culture classes and learn some of the language.

The tour took about a half hour, and afterwards, we went to the nearest rock climbing gym. For those of you that don’t know, my older son, Henry, has been very involved in rock climbing for the last couple years. He belongs to a rock climbing team in Northern VA, and is very excited we have a gym relatively close to where we’ll be living. We’re hoping to work with this climbing gym to start a school climbing team.

It’s a really nice gym with plenty of ropes walls as well as a nice outdoor bouldering wall with many routs for varying skill levels. However, the gym doesn’t have very effective air conditioning, so it gets HOT in there. We’ll be looking to climb at night once we move here.

On Tuesday, the boys were able to attend a full school day at BASIS and shadow their respective classes, and I was left to my own devices for much of the day. I did have a very informative meeting with some of the folks at BASIS to gather info on the logistics of living here, which was very helpful.

I spent most of the rest of the day walking around the shopping area, checking out the mall more thoroughly as well as some other shops in the area. I logged nearly 20K steps that day! But still not much of an opportunity get into the central part of the city. It looks like that is going to have to wait until we move.

On Wednesday, I took the boys to the indoor playgrounds at the mall, where they spent most of the day, and then we met up with Kate after she finished her work day. The boys are showing a bit more willingness already to try some of the food here, so I’m feeling a bit better about that.

Today was a pool and tablet day. I needed a chance to slow down a little and let the boys fend for themselves a bit. We went out with some of Kate’s colleagues in the more central part of Bangkok, which was lovely. It was great to have an opportunity to talk to others that have been here for a while and gain a little bit of knowledge from them. They are also a really great group of people. It brings me comfort to know Kate and the boys will be surrounded by them.

Bangkok is a really interesting place. I haven’t had much opportunity to really explore yet, but from the places we’ve driven around, it’s this fascinating combination of absolute first world glitz and luxury with developing world abject poverty smack in the middle of it all. There are these tall, beautiful modern sky scrapers, with corrugated tin-roofed shanties filling the blocks between them.

I lived in NYC for 17 years and witnessed both the highest levels of opulence along with the not-so-nice parts of the South Bronx or Bed Stuy prior to gentrification. NYC was always largely sectioned off between the rich and not-so-rich. Bangkok doesn’t seem to have those delineations.

Traffic patterns are definitely different than what I’m used to. They drive on the left side of the road with the driver-side on the right side of the car. Out where we’ll be living, there are not a lot of traffic lights or stop signs. They have some blinking signs that seem to be more of a suggestion than an actual traffic device. It appears to be more of an honor system of taking turns. Where there are traffic lights, however, most have countdown timers, which is nice. But the timers are LONG. We’re talking some lights having four minute countdowns between light changes. Bangkok streets are would not be the place for the impatient.

There are buddhist shrines on nearly every street. On the way to dinner tonight, we drove by an outdoor enclosed area where it appeared there were evening prayers, which was really cool.

We have one full day left tomorrow, and we fly back on Saturday with a midnight flight to Seoul. I hope to take the boys to a waterpark tomorrow during the day. There are a handful within close proximity, but the really great ones look like they’re about two hours away from us. Once we move, I’ll be sure to get the boys out to them. I’ll have a tough decision on whether I get a Thai drivers license. It may be a good idea to get a license so I can rent a car for these day trips rather than using Grab for all car rides, which is what we plan on doing for at least the first year.

I’m learning a lot so far, but still have a ton of questions. I’m glad we were able to make this trip so I could see first-hand what we’re getting involved in. As I meet more people and get to see more of the city, I’m getting more comfortable with the thought of living here. It’s still tremendously scary and feels like a huge leap of faith, but we seem to have a lot of people here to support us and ease our transition.

Welcome to Bangkok!

Here we are! Kate’s third trip, but the boys’ and my first trip. From the time we left our house to the time we got to the apartment we’re staying at, it was about 30 hours of travel. Overall, the boys were champs. 15 hour flights are not easy. We flew from South Korea for a 6 hour flight to Bangkok. A slight mishap with the ground transportation when we arrived only resulted in a short delay in getting to the apartment.

The food on the flights was not bad, but the boys had little interest in Korean style beef. That was the kid’s option on the Korea to Bangkok leg. We’re not in the USA anymore! On the first leg, they did have pizza and french fries for the boys, though, so that was good. My wife and I had bibimbap, which was surprisingly good for airplane food.

We got to the apartment we’re staying in around 3:30am Bangkok time. We got the boys in their pajamas, and we were all asleep within 20 minutes of arriving. We were all spent, but in really good shape, considering.

Day one: we all woke up just shy of noon. Kate ran out to get some breakfast from the place just outside. Milkland - yummy bread with different toppings and some shakes.

After breakfast, we went to the rooftop pool and swam for about an hour in the infinity pool. Really beautiful view of the city from here.

After that, we all got showered off, and walked around the area. We’re southwest of the river, so we’re in the ‘burbs of Bangkok. But it’s still bustling with activity. Directly outside our building is a day market and night market. The day market was closed by the time we got outside, and the night market was just getting set up. So much good food there! I can’t wait to try it all! A five minute walk up the road took us to BASIS International School Bangkok, where my wife will be working and our boys will be going to school next year. We continued past the school to Central Rama 2 shopping center.

Central Rama 2 is a MASSIVE shopping mall. When we first walked in, we were surrounded by countless restaurants, each one looking more delicious than the last. I didn’t actually count, but I think there are 5 floors to this mall. Each floor has at least a half dozen restaurants, and each floor seemed to have a theme of the types of stores. There were housegoods stores, technology stores, car dealers, toys, clothes, shoes, etc… And food, food food. The basement has a grocery store that has anything you could think of. There won’t be an issue getting food the boys will eat, thankfully. But we’re still going to do our best to introduce them to the local cuisine.

We got the boys KFC, and Kate and I went to a ramen place. It was absolutely delicious. I can’t tell if I’m going to get fat from eating so much, or lose weight from walking so much.

After day one, my first impressions are that the people here are lovely! Everyone we’ve come across is really nice. Nobody is in a hurry! Everyone takes their time, and just walks a few steps slower than what I’m used to in the States. It is very relaxing.

This is the first time in my life I’ve been the outside, though. It’s a new experience being the one that doesn’t speak the language. Not being able to read signs is daunting. Most people seem to have at least a small working knowledge of English, and they all seem to make an effort to help. Whenever I say “hello” or “thank you” in Thai (presently the only things I know how to say along with “not spicy”), the people’s faces light up and seem so appreciative. I hope to spend my time before we move learning at least a little of the language.

Oh, and the toilets. Every toilet has a butt wash or bidet. I quickly came to the realization Americans are savages. How does every toilet not have either a bidet or butt wash attached to it?

Now that we’re here, and I’m considering the fact my wife and boys will be in school during the day, and I’ll be here by myself, I wonder how I’ll spend my time. I’m probably most nervous at this point of being an island. Not knowing anyone back home is OK because I speak the language and can at least have a conversation with a stranger at a store if I have questions about something or need help with anything. I know there is a vast ex-pat community, so I’ll certainly be looking into finding those folks.

I’ll also be looking for the jazz scene here. After a cursory google search, there are a bunch of clubs, and they aren’t prohibitively far from where we’ll be living.

I’m definitely anxious about finding my place here. That’s the most stressful part of the process now that we’re here for our first visit. I also need to remind myself that this first week I’ll be watching over the boys as Kate will be working, so I don’t have time to go off on my own and explore the things I need to so I can acclimate and figure my path while we’re here.

The only time in my life I can relate this feeling to is getting to college. The sense of unfamiliarity and not knowing anyone. Starting completely with a clean slate, but with the added challenge of not knowing the language, people or customs. I remind myself college turned out great, and I made some of my best friends through it. I am optimistic this chapter will lead to the same things.

And so it begins!

This is a huge week! We fly out to Bangkok on Thursday for our pre-move trip. This will be only my second time overseas. My first was a trip to Ethiopia when I was working at charity: water back in January 2013. This will also be our kids’ first international trip, not that it’s a common thing for young kids to travel overseas.

My older son, Henry, says, “I can’t believe I’m already 11 years old and have never left the country!” I try to explain to him it’s a VERY small segment of the population that is fortunate enough to have the means to travel internationally. It’s by far the exception. My younger son, Miles, recently watched the Bangkok episode of “Somebody feed Phil” on Netflix, and is excited to go because he now thinks Thailand has the best food in the world. Although he would eat nearly anything we put in front of him when he was a toddler, he has become exceedingly picky over the last few years. Henry has always been a picky eater. Despite both boys’ excitement yet blissful ignorance, as Henry is only 11 and Miles only 6, I’m a tad nervous about how they will deal with the enormous change in culinary styles they are about the encounter.

My wife is about to embark on her third trip to Bangkok since she accepted the job. She got COVID on the return trips on the first two. Here’s hoping this trip is… less eventful for her.

We’ll be in the ‘burbs of Bangkok, southwest of the river (which presently means very little to me). I’ve been told east of the river is where the action is. We’re going to apparently have everything we need right at our doorstep. Outside of the apartment we’ll be living in there is a shopping center, a beautiful fitness facility, the hospital, morning and night outdoor markets (YAY!!!), and to top it off, a rooftop pool in the building. Also, we’ll be a five minute walk from the school my wife will be working at and boys will be attending.

The boys will spend a day next week shadowing the classes with their to-be cohorts, while my wife will be on the clock working. I’ll be chatting with their HR department trying to get info and answers of visa questions, health insurance questions, living arrangement questions, etc… So much information to gather!

On the other days, I’ll be taking the boys on various adventures around Bangkok while Kate is working. We’re planning on going to an amusement park, taking a river tour, visiting the grand palace, seeing some museums, etc…

I have no idea what to expect of the travel and how the boys will do. They have done well in the couple of trips we’ve made in the last two years, but those were only 4 hour flights. 24 hours is a whole other beast. Hopefully they’ll be able to sleep on the plane. In any event, I’m anticipating two very tired, grumpy child-monsters at the end of it.

We’re going to start packing tomorrow (Sunday) to get as much ready as possible so we’re not scrambling at the last minute. We’re planning on bringing a bunch of stuff to keep there for two months to ease the burden of the actual move. We’re quite fortunate we’re able to do that. I will be bringing two of my three saxophones, which I will be reluctantly leaving there, so I have less I need to bring when we move in June. I figure, two months isn’t the end of the world. I’m just trying to figure out now how to manage the carry-on luggage situation as these will count towards our allotment. I’ll probably have Henry carry my Soprano as we board the plane.

I can’t wait to see exactly what we’re getting ourselves into. I’ve been so excited about this move for a year and a half since we made the decision to make the leap of faith, but I have absolutely no idea of what life will be like. It’s starting to set in that we’re completely uprooting our lives and embarking on a once in a lifetime opportunity. I’m excited to see what life is like outside the States and our own little American suburban bubble I’ve spent the majority of my life in. I’m excited to give my kids the opportunity to be exposed to other cultures and lifestyles. I’m hoping it teaches them empathy and understanding. Shoot, I hope it teaches ME those things. This trial run should be quite illuminating and finally give me something tangible to better understand where our lives are headed.

Saxomaphone

As things are at a bit of a holding pattern for our move, I thought I’d jot down some thoughts I have on Saxophone, and why I love (and often hate) the instrument and why I connect with it, why I never truly pursued a career with it, and what the future holds for my relationship with it.

I must have been 4 or 5 at the time. I was home watching Sesame Street. Kermit may have just finished his news rundown for the day, or Grover did something silly. Then, they cut to one of their segments in the “real world.” They took us to a saxophone factory. I don’t recall if they mentioned which specific company, but there we were. Bells being pressed into shape, the body tube formed, key holes drawn. Then at the end, one of the craftsmen played a brand new saxophone fresh off of the assembly line. That was it. I was hooked. From that moment on, I knew I wanted to play saxophone.

Fast forward a few years to fourth grade. This was our first year of being able to choose an instrument for elementary school. We were offered violin, clarinet, trombone or trumpet. What?!?! No Saxophone?!?! I was distraught. All I wanted to play was saxophone. I knew I didn’t want to play any of the other instruments, but I had to make a decision. I reluctantly chose trumpet, partly because Dan, my older brother, had played it. So I got through 4th grade. I remember not hating it, but I couldn’t get saxophone out of my mind.

Fifth grade finally came along, and saxophone was now available to me! Woohoo!!! I was so excited. But my excitement was almost extinguished again. We were informed that in order to play saxophone, I would have had to play clarinet in 4th grade to get started in the woodwind family. I was devastated. My dream I’d held for so long and was so close, was now looking like it may not have been possible! I spoke to my parents, and my father, who always seemed to be willing to be the squeaky wheel, went to the school to talk personally to the head of the music department. He spoke to them, and they relented and let me switch from the brass family to woodwinds, and specifically, saxophone.

I remember going to Central Music Supply (if I remember the name of the music store correctly) and renting a clearly well used instrument a few weeks before school started. I can vividly recall opening the case and just gazing at the instrument for what felt like hours, curious, excited, and intimidated. All these keys! What did they all do? And what is this smaller metal part that looks like a pipe? And what is this other plastic thing? How does it make a sound? I did this everyday until school started and we had our first lesson.

There were three of us, if I remember correctly, myself, one person who I can’t recall, and Jon Gala, who remains one of my closest friends to this day. Ms. Posomoto (I can’t recall if this is how to properly spell her last name. I hope I got it right!) was the woodwind teacher for the school. I remember her being a wonderful teacher. She was always in a good mood, very supportive and encouraging, especially for beginners.

She carefully walked us through the process of carefully taking our instruments out, putting our neck straps on, and clipping the instrument to the neck strap. Then, as it turned out, that smaller metal part that looked like a pipe, was the neck! We carefully placed the necks onto the body of the instrument and tightened the screw to keep it in place and prevent it from swiveling. Next, the mouthpiece, and finally, the reed. Soak the reed in your mouth first to get it wet, then place it onto the mouthpiece, and place the ligature onto the mouthpiece securing the reed in place. Now, tuck your bottom lip over your teeth, put the mouthpiece into your mouth, gently place your top teeth on the the mouthpiece, and BLOW!!!

SOUND! I MADE A SOUND! It was thrilling! So exciting! My journey had begun! Little did I know, it would carry me all the way to today.

She showed us some notes, and had us play them, gradually working up to a C major scale.

I took to the instrument pretty naturally. I was able to produce a solid sound (for a beginner) almost immediately. Reading music came pretty quickly for me, as well.

After a few weeks, the rental instrument I was using was giving me lots of problems. My grandfather, who was my only living grandparent, who I rarely saw, was kind enough to give me the money to purchase a brand new Bundy II student model saxophone. It felt like I just got a new Ferrari. I had a new instrument that felt a lot better to play, and didn’t give me any of the issues I had dealt with on the rental.

In the spring we had the NYSMA competitions/auditions. I made all county band! It was so cool! Looking back, it feels like it happened long after I had started; I only now realized it was during my first year of learning the instrument! Pretty crazy!

My parents realized I had a natural knack for the instrument, and promptly signed me up for private saxophone instruction at Nazareth College Preparatory Department. I started studying classical saxophone with Corinne Africano. She was a fabulous classical saxophonist and went to Indiana University, which is a highly regarded classical program. I studied with Corinne through either Sophomore or Junior year of High School, and became a pretty solid classical saxophonist. My parents didn’t know anything about jazz, and didn’t realize at the time of signing me up for lessons, I would have likely benefited from studying with someone that had a jazz background, as that was more of what I was interested in. Corinne was a fabulous teacher, and I learned a ton from her, as well as developed a very solid technical proficiency on the instrument from working on several challenging classical pieces, but studying strictly classical for that long puts your playing in a very confined box, and it takes years to expand your sound and other aspects of your playing to become a versatile saxophonist.

In either Freshman or Sophomore year of High School, as I had already decided I wanted to go to music school, I realized it was time to move up from my trusty Bundy II alto that had served me well. I was deciding between a Selmer Paris Super Action 80 Series II and an American Selmer professional model. I eventually chose the American Selmer, which was a massive step up from the Bundy, which was clearly showing its limitations. I used inheritance money my grandfather had left me when he passed away shortly before that, as my parents didn’t have the money to afford a brand new professional level instrument. In my senior year of high school, shortly after my father passed away, using some of the life insurance money he left me, I purchased a Selmer Series III soprano saxophone in black lacquer. It was a wonderful instrument, and a way to remember my departed father.

I was introduced to the trumpet virtuoso, Paul Smoker, in the early fall of 1994 at the start of my Senior year. Although not a saxophonist, he was and remains the most important teacher I ever studied with. I auditioned at Eastman, which was an utter disaster, as I had only started learning jazz a few months earlier with Paul, but waited on applying to Berklee. I ended up spending my first semester of college at Monroe Community College, and continued studying with Paul, but applied to Berklee in that time. In January of 1996, I packed my bags, and headed off to Boston.

After my first few weeks at Berklee, fellow students were giving me info on who to study with, what kinds of things to look out for, good times to get practice rooms, etc… Everyone I met quickly found out I was a Coltrane fanatic. My obsession in late High School shifted from Jimi Hendrix to John Coltrane after I started studying with Paul. A few people said I needed to check out George Garzone.

He was playing at Willow Jazz Club, I think at the time, with his long standing trio, The Fringe, with himself, John Lockwood on bass, and the late Bob Gullotti on drums. The first time I saw him play was with this electric guitar player, who was insanely loud. But the moments I heard George cut through, hit me like a ton of bricks. This was the guy. He was the one. His sound. his time. His unabashed creativity.

I studied with Fred Lipsius during my first semester, but was able to sign up with George for my second semester. I wasn’t ready, though. I hadn’t developed enough to really get anything from what George offered. He was teaching concepts that were far beyond what I was able to grasp yet.

During my first semester studying with George, in one of my first lessons with him, he told me I should get a new horn and a new mouthpiece, specifically a Mark VI. He said I didn’t have a strong enough sound and my American Selmer wasn’t cutting it. I went over to Rayburns Music, and asked Emilio Lyons to show me the Mark VI’s he had available He showed me a few, but picked one out in particular that he told me I should get. It was sparkling new looking, which was surprising for a vintage instrument. He was honest with me, and told me it was a relacquer. The others weren’t, but they were far more beat up and not nearly as good. This was the oldest of the bunch, made in 1957, and had been taken good care of. It leaked like crazy, so I couldn’t get a good feel for it. But I trusted Emilio. He was revered in Boston, and around the world, and George told me to trust him, so I did. I traded in my American Selmer, Emilio did the overhaul on the horn, 28 years later, I still have that horn. And it’s the best alto I’ve ever played. It’s starting to show its age in a few places now, but it’s still playing in tip top shape. When I purchased that horn, I also got a Meyer 7 mouthpiece with a long facing. It suited me pretty well, and I used that piece for almost 20 years.

For my third semester at Berklee, I signed up with a new teacher, in her first semester teaching at Berklee. Shannon LeClaire. This was the best possible thing that could have happened to me at Berklee. Shannon is a phenomenal saxophonist. Classical, jazz, you throw anything at her, she’ll kill it. But she’s also an amazing teacher. She laid things out in the most clear way anyone ever had for me before or since. I’d actually love to reconnect with her and take some lessons with her again! This was a turning point for me.

In my first semester, I met one of my very best friends, drummer Derek Landel. He and I played jam sessions at night at school at least weekly from then on until Derek finished the program in 1998 and moved back to New Jersey. But Derek and I were always hanging out, listening to music together, and most importantly for me, playing duo together. He was ALWAYS in a practice room. So multiple times a week, I would bring my horn to his practice room, and we’d just play duo for an hour or so. No songs, no form, just time. I remember one day we did this, and something clicked for me. It was the first time I remember really feeling and understanding the quarter note pulse of swing. I could hear it and lock to it in a way I never had before. Soon thereafter, I started noticing the subtleties and nuances of what made a good jazz saxophone sound. I could hear the differences between an undeveloped beginner, and someone who had developed a strong, supported sound. It was liberating. It was revolutionary for me. It also set me up for my time studying with Shannon.

I studied with Shannon for a couple semesters before going back with George for the rest of the time I was there. During my time with George, the lessons I hold closest are sound and time. Sound and time. If you have a good sound and a good sense of time, the notes you play won’t matter. If you have a good sound, and you’re swinging your ass off, people will like it and latch onto it. The notes are secondary. Also, don’t use your damn tongue. That’s one I’m going back to right now.

Thinking back to my time at Berklee, it was really a remarkable time to be a student there. My classmates included Bob Reynolds, Jaleel Shaw, Dayna Stephens, Walter Smith III, Patrick Cornelius, Eli Degibri, Miguel Zenon, Jeremy Pelt, Avishai Cohen (trumpet player), Charles Haynes, Kendrick Scott, Antonio Sanchez, and so many others I’m not listing here. It’s crazy the talent that was there at the same time as me. I couldn’t help but improve just through osmosis and being around these guys all the time.

As a saxophonist, one of the hardest things to NOT do is compare yourself to other horn players. I was heavily afflicted with that while I was at Berklee. But each of these guys mentioned above are the absolute nicest people. I would try to hang with Jaleel whenever I could. Walter Smith III would drag me out to jam sessions at Wonder Bar often. I was nervous as could be, but he’d push me to do it. I can’t imagine he remembers those moments, but they mean the world to me.

My senior recital came, and was pretty successful and well received. So that was a boost to my confidence. I graduated and moved to New York City on August 27 of 1999.

In my Junior year of college, I went back to Rayburns to buy a tenor. I tried a bunch of Mark VI’s, and ended up settling for a 1956 horn that showed its age. Emilio told me it was original lacquer, which I later found out was not the case. I don’t know if Emilio simply made a mistake when looking at the horn, or was less than honest. In any event, I never got comfortable on that instrument. Around 2003 I sold the horn, and purchased a 61,XXX Mark VI that had been stripped of its lacquer from Roberto in New York City. He also assured me that while the horn had been stripped, it was still original and had not been re-lacquered. He, too, was wrong. Upon further inspection, it had clearly been relacquered at some point prior to having the lacquer removed.

I moved to New York after graduating Berklee, as aspiring jazz musicians do, to test the waters. I gigged occasionally, around the city, at clubs like Detour, 55 Bar, and my favorite club, Smalls. Unfortunately, only Smalls survives. But I was only called as a side musician a handful of times. Not surprising considering my lack of work I had put into really learning the music and preparing.

I chased the dream for a few years, but it was exhausting. Especially when I was working a full time job, and had somehow transitioned into becoming an accountant. I had recorded two CD’s but neither went anywhere. Then I met my wife, fell in love, and music took a further back seat. We got married, moved to New Rochelle, had our first child and I put my horns away for about three years until we moved to Northern Virginia. I have my own music room in my house, which I soundproofed. I even got a drum kit in there, along with my guitars and a small scale bass. I’m going to be sad to not have that room when we move. It’s kind of my fortress of solitude.

I love the saxophone. I feel a connection to the instrument. The shape of it is so sexy and beautiful. I love the mechanical movements of all the keys, and how they are all so interconnected. It’s really quite fascinating. I love the feel of it in my hands. It is such a natural feeling to hold one. It rests so perfectly in my grip with no discomfort or contortions. The best part of saxophone for me is fueling the sound with my own breath that connects me to the instrument. You are literally breathing life into the instrument. I don’t feel anywhere near as connected to guitar or drums as I do on saxophone. Granted, I’m a pretty bad guitar player, and even worse drummer. But the physical connection you form with saxophone is a special thing. I love that each instrument (alto, tenor, soprano, baritone) has its own distinct sound and characteristic that can be utilized to create different emotional responses.

I also love that small equipment changes can have a profound effect on the way an instrument plays. Different mouthpieces can make your sound dark and subtle or bright and edgy or even harsh. Reeds can do the same thing. Ligatures (the thing that holds the reed to the mouthpiece) can even have subtle effects on the horn! Then there is the snake oil gadgets like heavy mass neck screws, or other silly crap people put on their instrument. I must confess, though, that I do use a heavy mass screw on alto. I was a doubter. I could never possibly begin to explain how this thing works, but it makes the instrument feel more lively. I don’t think the external listener could possibly tell the difference in sound, but as the player, it is noticeable.

I love trying different instruments and mouthpieces out. It’s fun and exciting to see what new products are out there. The best part is trying different instruments and always coming home to the ones I have. Granted, I just sold my vintage tenor Mark VI and Series III soprano in black lacquer and replaced them with John Leadbetter’s JL Woodwind Artist Edition saxophones. I’ve written elsewhere about my thoughts on vintage vs. new instruments. I’ll keep my vintage alto as long as it plays the way it does. But these new instruments from John are so amazing to play. They resonate through my whole body. They’re incredibly comfortable. They have so much depth to their sound. And they are beautiful. John is OCD when it comes to making sure his instruments are set up perfectly before he sends them out to his customers. There are a lot of other great instruments on the market right now, but I don’t know of any that can boast the quality of set-up when they leave the shop. John is a wizard, as far as I’m concerned, and the saxophone community is immensely fortunate to have him.

Another similar craftsman is Ted Klum. A few years ago, I took a trip up to New Jersey with a couple friends to visit Ted Klum’s workshop. I tried a few different mouthpieces, and came to realize what I had been missing. I had no idea playing and creating a sound could be so effortless. I purchased a brand new alto and tenor mouthpiece from him that day and have been on them since.

Saxophone, however, is a fickle bitch. Random tiny little leaks in the pads can render the instrument almost unplayable. Reeds are the worst part of it all. Weather has huge impacts on the playability of the instrument. If it’s too dry, the reeds don’t work right. If it’s too humid, they feel stuffy like you have a sock in the horn. If the reed isn’t lined up exactly right on the mouthpiece, the horn becomes far less responsive. But when you find that good reed, and the horn is sealing top to bottom, and you feel the horn resonate through your whole body, the feeling is indescribable.

So why didn’t I have more success as a professional musician? In one word: work. I never really put in the necessary work. I’m not sure what it is with my friends who have that drive and dedication. I don’t know where it comes from. Is there some innate personality trait? Is it just something they discovered and love more than me? I can’t answer that question. What I do know is that they all worked a whole hell of a lot harder than I did. They were in the practice room for longer than me. They went to the jam sessions. They utilized the teachers more. They transcribed other saxophonists. They put together clear practice regiments. All of it. Bill Pierce was the head of the woodwind department when I was at Berklee! I never talked to him. What a missed opportunity of an incredible resource I had! I didn’t work hard enough on ear training. Harmony came relatively natural to me, but I wasn’t at a level on my instrument to incorporate it into my playing or composing yet. I’ve now forgotten all of that knowledge, which really bums me out. This is a common theme in many areas of my life. I’m a bit of a jack of all trades, master of none. I find I have a decent amount of natural aptitude for many things, but I never seem to have the motivation or drive to truly master the craft. Weather it’s music, or cooking, or photography. But I’m content, and as I reflect on my life, know that I enjoy the creature comforts and love of my family. That is more than enough to sustain me.

What now? I’m practicing more than I have in a few years. I actually have some things I want to start working on. Namely transcribing. I’ve only transcribed a handful of solos in my whole life. There is no better ear training than transcribing solos. So that’s what I want to focus on for the time being. An hour of practice lately only feels like enough time to warm up. It’s hard deciding which instrument I’m going to work on each day as each one is so enjoyable to play right now. I’m really in saxophone heaven for the moment.

As I have no plans of what to do with my life when we move to Bangkok, other than the normal family things, I want to see what the jazz scene is like. My understanding is they have a decent scene going on. Apparently, the previous King was a saxophonist and loved jazz! I’d be thrilled to meet fellow musicians and get involved. I definitely miss playing with other people. I was getting out to jam sessions in DC the first couple years I was here, but when my son Miles was born, things slowed down, them the pandemic hit, and I’ve been a hermit since. Hopefully moving overseas will spur me on to get involved with playing with other humans again.

Biz Casual

Tonight I purged my closet and got rid of nearly every pair of business casual slacks I owned. There were more than I’m proud to mention, accumulated through the years working in the corporate world. First in the early 2000’s in NYC where I discovered my natural ability for accounting, working at Thomson Financial, then Thomson Media, and one horrible job for only a few months, which took me through to 2010, where I started working at charity: water, which lasted nearly 5 years. The attire there was decidedly not business casual. It wasn’t uncommon to wear shorts there. It was, at the time, a boutique start-up of a non-profit, full of young, hip type-A’s that wanted to change the world. They were very much into the more relaxed, flexible environment. I was a bit older at than most of my co-workers, and certainly no type-A. But it was a great group of people and I was happy to work for an organization that wanted to make a difference in the world rather than just make as much profit as possible.

Where was, I? Oh yeah, business casual clothes. So my family and I moved down to Northern Virginia in early summer of 2015 to be closer to my wife’s parents, primarily to be close to her mother, who had ALS, and we wanted to be around for as long as we had. Our older son, Henry, got to spend a lot of time with her, which she cherished. Henry was only two and a half at the time, so has only fleeting memories of her. She passed away in February of 2017, just a few months before Miles was born.

So… Soon before we left NYC, I had made a few trips down to DC job hunting. I landed a job at the U.S. Chamber of Commerce as Director of Accounting. I had few reservations accepting the job. Primarily, political, as I am diametrically opposed to the vast majority of their policy positions, but also because of the attire. When I started at the Chamber, they were full business attire. Suit and tie. So I was going from an absolutely casual atmosphere at charity: water, wearing jeans and t-shirts every day, playing ping pong with my co-workers, to the most buttoned-up place I could imagine. But my boss turned out to be the best boss I’d ever had. She was incredibly knowledgeable, a damn good accountant, helpful but without even an ounce of micro-managing, and maybe most importantly, she acted as a buffer between accounting and the rest of the organization’s internal political drama. Internal political drama exists at nearly every job, but the sign of a great boss is one willing to absorb the brunt of it and allow their team to focus on the job at hand. And good accountants have a major responsibility to ignore as much of the political BS as possible. Numbers don’t lie, accounting regulations exist and need to be followed, and people try to get you to bend the rules regularly and make exceptions. The team I worked with was also fabulous. A really great group of people that were all really good at what they did. It just happened to be for an organization I vehemently disagreed with.

I was at the Chamber from around August of 2015 through October of 2021, if I am remembering this correctly. Around 2018 or 2019, the top execs at the Chamber were starting to transition, and the new head boss changed things up to business casual, a very welcomed change. It stayed that way until the pandemic hit, and we all went remote.

During this time, the policies the Chamber was championing became more than I was willing to accept, and I started casually looking for another job. I received a random call from a recruiter, who apparently found my profile on LinkedIn, which had not been updated for quite some time, and I took a job at a non-profit here in Northern Virginia, a five minute drive from my house. An impossibly short commute. It took some haggling and negotiating to get them to match my demands, but they did quite willingly.

I wound up with another great boss, and a really nice team, but it was hard to really connect and get to know everyone, largely because we were remote when I started. It was somewhat spread out, in terms of the corporate structure and how teams were organized. And there was a lot of turn-over in my department. Just two weeks after I started, one of my subordinates quit as they didn’t get the job I took. Can’t blame them, but they weren’t ready for the job. We hired internally someone that ended up being too inexperienced, and never really took the burden off of me, and I never really grew into the job to the extent I, or management wanted. My wife accepted the job in Bangkok about a year and a half into my job there, which I left in July of 2023. I’ve been on a contract assignment at Malala Fund since as my family prepares to move. I only went into the office a handful of times while I was at that job, and occasionally broke out my business casual clothes.

But my Malala Fund assignment is wrapping up in about two more months, and I won’t be holding down a job stateside again until we move back (IF we move back). Seeing as we’re moving to a tropical climate, and I’m going there with no idea whatsoever of what I’ll be doing, and knowing I can get custom tailored clothes for a fraction of off-the-rack clothes here, I get to GLADLY donate my dozen or so business slacks and cotton chinos. I’m ready, willing, and able to wear shorts, t-shirts and flip flops exclusively as much as possible.

The Long, Gradual Purge

Right now there is a hurry up and wait feeling with the move. We have a lot to sort out, but much of what we need to do needs to wait until we get closer to the move. We plan to rent our house out when we move, so getting everything we own out of the house is a major undertaking. We have a contractor that has already updated our two half-bathrooms, but we will need to have them paint the inside top-to-bottom. We also will have the carpets replaced. But we can’t do those things right now because we have two young boys that will inevitably stain anything new in seconds flat. Also, we need to get all of the large items out of the living room and basement so the contractors can easily get to everything they need to access.

Each weekend, Kate and I have been choosing one small area of the house to tackle, usually involving purging crap that’s accumulated over the eight years we’ve lived in the house. Last weekend, over the long weekend, I went through every single piece of paper we had in the house. Good thing I kept that Costco receipt for protein bars from 2017. Seriously. Why don’t we ever throw things out right away? We’re getting rid of probably 99% of the paper we have been holding. Obvious things we are keeping are closing documents for the house and other important items. But soooo much useless unnecessary paper! We just had two snow storms (“storm” used loosely as I’m from Rochester, NY, and that term hits differently in Northern VA). But once the snow melts, Kate and I are going to bring the giant plastic bag of all of the papers that we don’t need (but don’t want to just trash as there is personal info listed) and burn them all in our fire pit. That should be a good time.

Let’s talk for a moment about accumulated crap from kids. My boys are now 11 and 6 years old. We still have baby toys sitting around. The common theme I’m sure many of my fellow parents can relate to is buying some coveted toy or game for your kids, it gets played with once, then gets put away and forgotten about as they would rather play with a wadded up ball of paper. Crap just shoved in drawers and shelves never to be thought about again until, well, now. Necessity is the mother of getting rid of shit. We’re trying to work with our boys to have them make decisions on what they keep and what they get rid of. Every couple of weeks, we give our boys a cardboard box, and we tell them to fill it with toys and books that they no longer want so we can donate it to goodwill. We’re getting there. Slowly but surely. But mostly slowly. So Kate an I will need to make decisions for them.

But let me be clear. This in no way absolves me from my contribution to the accumulation of stuff. I have a bunch of keepsakes, where in normal circumstances, would be perfectly reasonable to hold on to. But we’re now past that stage. Hard decisions need to be made. I still have the stat print-outs my dad kept of my travel soccer team from when I was 13 as he was the coach. (My dad was a bit OCD when it came to tracking stats for a youth soccer team and similar endeavors, but that was part of his charm.) There is no legitimate reason for me to hold on to this stuff, but it’s a small part of him that I got to hold on to to remind me of who he was. He passed away when I was 17 right before my senior year of high school. Some of these things hold a lot of sentimental value to me. But do I really need to know who was the leading scorer of my 13 year old soccer team? (It was me, but who’s really keeping track.)

So right now, it’s a lot of the easier decisions of what we are getting rid of and what we’re keeping. As we get closer, the plan is to move our Lovesac sofa and super nice mattress into storage as it’ll be cheaper to store them than purchase new items if and when we return after Kate’s three year contract is up. I’m not really looking forward to making the hard decisions. But at the same time, it’s liberating. I’m being forced to embrace living more minimally. Memories are the items I want to keep with me. Not useless crap that adds no true value to our lives that just sits in boxes for years on end until accidentally being stumbling upon once in a blue moon just to get all nostalgic and melancholy.

Welcome! Come along for my (our) journey and other things!

Hi everyone, and welcome to my redesigned website. It had been stagnant for years, hosting very out of date info about my second CD I recorded 18 years ago! (Gah! Has it really been that long?!?!) It was dedicated to my “music career,” which never came anywhere near lucrative. I think I knew it never would, even while I was a student at Berklee studying music performance for saxophone. But that is a story for another blog entry.

The motivating factor to finally do something with my website was to document and share my family’s and my experience as we rapidly approach a major new chapter in our lives. My wife, Kate, has accepted a job at an international school in Bangkok. It was an opportunity she couldn’t pass up, so we decided to take a leap of faith and move overseas in June of 2024.

We still have about five months until we move, but time is moving extraordinarily fast with a lot to take care of. We have a nice modestly sized townhome in Northern Virginia, where we have accumulated a LOT of stuff in the eight-plus years we’ve lived here. Having two young boys will do that to a home, I suppose. Our plan is to keep the house and rent it out while we’re gone. Kate will be on a three year contract. What the future holds beyond that three years is anybody’s guess. But since we’ll be renting the house out, we need to empty it of absolutely everything. We’ll likely rent a small storage locker to keep a couple pieces of furniture and keepsakes that we want to hold onto. Other than that, we’re purging nearly everything we own. Trying to sell as much as possible, donating what we can’t sell, and trashing what isn’t worth donating.

Leading up to the move, I got set up with a pretty ideal contract job at Malala Fund that takes me through early April, when my contract ends. That will give me a couple months to really go to town on our house to prepare it. We have a contractor that will come in and replace carpet, paint, and do some other cosmetic work to set it up. But I’ll also have time to decompress, practice saxophone, get to the gym, play golf, and consider what types of things I might pursue when we move to Bangkok.

While clearing out the house and preparing for the move is daunting, the thing that is the most anxiety inducing is considering what I’ll do when we move. My wife has her job set up. My boys Henry and Miles will be in school (the same school Kate will be working at). But me? No fucking idea.

So many things are going through my head. Should I try to play music? (Hell yeah!) But aside from that, should I find something more lucrative? Friends of mine that have lived in that part of the world say I shouldn’t have a difficult time at all finding work over there. The question is, do I want to do that type of thing? I’ve been working in accounting for over 20 years now! I think I’m ready to step away, at least briefly, to re-evaluate what kinds of things I want, and can do.

I love cooking. Well, baking, making pizza, and smoking BBQ, to be more specific. And I’m damn good at it. But starting a restaurant is prohibitively difficult. Especially in Thailand, where, from what I’ve heard, is very difficult for non-Thai individuals to start a business, unless you have Thai business partners. But it’s certainly something I want to at least explore.

I could also potentially look to teach beginner saxophone lessons. I think I could enjoy that. I could also look to teach English lessons online.

Ideally, at least at first, I want something that offers a ton of flexibility where I can really set my own hours. My wife will have a large amount of vacation time, and we plan to fully take advantage of it, and travel all over Southeast Asia.

So anyways, that’s a glimpse of the things I’ll be writing about as we prepare to embark on our journey. I’ll also have a page on the site with info about my long-past musical endeavors, including some clips of live performances from long-ago, as well as a page of my photography, and probably a page dedicated to my pizza making, baking and BBQ. Because who doesn’t love food porn?